The Misadventures of the Paisley Cowboy
by Charles Nevsimal
One day, Charles Nevsimal stood face to the wind on the lonesome Wisconsin plains, famous for their rattlesnakes, oil wells, and moral certitudes. Rubbing the course muzzle of his chin while simultaneously patting the head of his trusty yellow lab Mazee, he had an idea. Not just any idea: an idea as big as those Wisconsin skies when the tumbleweed fly overhead. With his third hand, he unscrewed the bottle of Jack Daniels he keeps in the holster he always seems to be wearing. He took a powerful slug.
He was going to write a book.
A book so epic that it could be presented in the only format suitable for western literature: serialization. After pulling the last yellowed page from his burning Remington typewriter, he took his Remington rifle and rode his yellow lab seven hundred burning miles from Milwaukee to Cedar Lake, Wisconsin, falling down at our door.
Needless to say, we were impressed.
So we are proud to offer Nevsimal’s serial chapbook: The Misadventures of the Paisley Cowboy. Each volume will be a broadside containing three or four poems so great that our rugged nation can barely contain them. After thorough fermentation, a new chapter will be released (a total of six broadsides in all), guaranteed to flood your eyes with all the gunslinging and dance-hall girls you’ve come to expect from territorial Wisconsin.
But don’t take our word for it, especially after we’ve been standing close to the press and huffing ink fumes. Why don’t you read "An Aging Man on a Quarter-Loaded Convenience Store Horse" from Issue 1 for yourself.
Now, head on over to your saddlebags where you keep your Roy Rogers checks in a genuine cowhide checkbook, and make out a draft to Desperado Press. All we’re asking is $10 for the series or $3 for any of the particularly fine issues. Friends, you can’t even buy an acre of land for that kind of money anymore.
But you can add some acreage to your soul.
Issues' contents:
Issue 1: "Ain't No Jesse James," "An Aging Man on a Quarter-Loaded Convenience Store Horse," and "Ride 'Em Cowboy"
Issue 2: "I Have Always Wanted to Rob a Bank," "Power Outage at the Bar," and "She Calls to Tell Me There's a Robber on the Loose"
Issue 3: "Reflections of a Black Cowboy," "Your Collection of Shoes, Boots, and Sandals vs. My 32 Pair of Underwear," "Drinking the Kool-Aid"